On House Arrest

Last night I put myself under house arrest. It was necessary. I was up to no good. Here I am, competing at the Great Canadian Laugh Offs in under two weeks and haven't a clue what I want to talk about. So, I've barred off my room, making it difficult to even get to the bathroom. I've also given myself a three minute time limit on the kitchen - it's so easy to get distracted in there - so many delicious cookies begging to be baked.

Alas, here I am, confined to my room like a canary in a cage or a cat in a condo. I just had a mini fight with my roommate over bringing a caged winged creature into the home. He thinks it is morally wrong to keep an animal that is made to fly cooped up in a cage. And you know what, I agree. But it wasn't as if I went out and caught him, I was rescuing him from Newfs heading back to the Alberta gold. I didn't even pay for him or the cage with money I could have been using to rescue rodents. Then I made the argument of how he domesticated a cat and kept it in a condo. For four years the only time Logan, his cat, got outside was a trip to the vet. We agreed to disagree.

Cyrano de Birdgerac (aptly named because of his abnormally long beak) has become a welcome edition to my window sill. For now. Three of our cats, Milu, Max and Logan have been working together to figure out the mechanics of the cage and get their claws on poor Cyrano. Milu sits on top and taunts him with tapping. Max hides out in the potted tree breathing his cat breath in Cyrano's direction, Logan is waiting patiently for his moment to pounce and capture...I've got it on video , its a hoot!

Wait...does that make some kind of sadist? Poor Cyrano! Your little heart must be beating so fast. It's okay buddy, I'd be scared too...if Texans and other peoples purses were lurking outside my house, waiting for me to make one wrong move....

That's it, all cats OUT! Cyrano needs some peace and quiet...

As I was saying, I need some inspiration so I start searching the divine web for any tips that's get me going. I come across a great site with insiteful ideas to get the ball rolling. Tip to productive writing #1: GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. In big bold letters, just like that. Well, I can't break that house arrest just yet, I haven't even written a word yet...hmmm...maybe the best thing to do is just start writing...

And then I sat there with an open Word document just staring defiantly at me. Sure, I tried to type but the blank page had closed its ears.

Hence the creation of this blog. I figure that comedy is talking to people, sharing stories that others can relate to and find the humor in, perhaps dribble a little in their drawers while they're at it.

I have 10 mins in front of a live audience - the finals will be televised on the Comedy Network.

If you had 10 minutes to make the world laugh - what would you talk about? Heck, even one minute? Something that most people would relate to and everyone would understand.

I read this book "How to be Happy and Have Fun Changing the World" which suggests the key to happiness is living your life with three simple mantras: 100% Honest 100% of the time, 100% positive 100% of the time, and ALWAYS be helping others.

That's an even more huge commitment than you might suspect.....but it's worth a try....

If you have any topics you think would add creative fodder to my bits, send 'em along.

Peace out bitches,

Sherri Symbiotic